Dear Dads, Ever tried to wash a car with a 2 year old in tow????


Today was washing cars day. 2 cars, 100ltrs of water, 60mls of soap, one exhausted mum and dear dad and one partially drowned toddler. You see once upon a time we could wash our car inside and out and be done in little over 30mins, now it’s a two hour affair that essentially is mum and dad cleaning the car and our toddler running around cleaning a random spot on the car (that’s already clean) and pretty much anything else she can get her sponge too. My tool box, the letter box the garden hedge…. Nothing is safe…. We have the cleanest front yard in the suburb!! Our mailbox sparkles in the sun thanks to BB. Though this does come at a cost, you see the same sponge used to wipe down our garden bed is plunged into the wash bucket and run along the car…. Our car has scratches that it wears with pride!! Even if I cry when I see them……

All while this is going on BB is saying “a hep a hep” (I help I help) and who can say no to a keen 2 year old? Eventually the sponge is ditched and it’s just soapy hands that wipe away at the duco, I have had a few shocks my self when cold little hands have gabbed my leg. Honestly it’s worse than someone putting cold feet on you whilst your warm in bed on a cold night!!!! Then comes the fun part, cleaning inside the car, I am sure our fuel economy improves by more than 2ltrs per 100kms with the amount of crap that we clean out that has accumulated in our car over a 2 week period. You name it, it’s probably in the car, odd sock? Check! Used tissues? check! Half sucked scotch finger biscuit? Check! Wait… What? We don’t even buy those let along feed them to the girls?? How the hell did that get in there?? Amazing… Our car is accumulating other peoples junk. Our car is less than 12 months old and I found a phone bill down the side of the seat from 2009…… Toys, towels, tiaras, dolls, and on the odd occasion shoes, usually BB’s.

Removing the car seats is a must, though usually impossible as BB feels the need to alternate sitting between hers and her sisters. Once the seats are out though… Wow… Just wow… The amount of food stuck under them, in them, on them, I give them a shake and half chewed biscuits, old French fries, chips and lollies all come flying out. If we ever broke down in the middle of no-where we could survive for weeks on the food these child seats manage to hold.

Our toddler who is still “heping” has gone from jumping from seat to seat to now pressing every button on the dash. We used to keep the keys near the car, but BB got so good at pushing its buttons she confused it and it then refused to start…. Amazing how she managed to do that to a car as well as her parents! Now her favourite buttons are the hazards and the horn, both bringing instant satisfaction to her, whilst scaring the pants off us every single time she hits them, at least she isn’t covered in soap or trying to wash the instrument cluster. Many times I have turned the car on only to have the stereo on full volume, wipers going, heater up as high as it goes (middle of summer) reverse this for winter, and the electric drivers seat all the way back and the lumbar support feeling like Mike Tyson is going 2 rounds on my kidneys.

Once the inside of the car is done, I have managed to get all the cars functions under control and the outside is shammied off I get my wife to hold our toddler back for 30 secs so I can take a photo of the car. I do this to prove that yes we do clean our car, more than once a year, all those “handprints” do come off and no the car is not a traveling confectionary stand. It also allows me to prove that while yes, buying a black car with an over helpful toddler in the family was an over-sight, said car does, if only for 30 seconds a month, look more of a street machine than a family car.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way!!


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