Dear Dads, Whats your routine?

Its all about routine……..

Its 6:55pm at night the lounge room looks like a miniature toy store has exploded in it and “in the night garden” has just finished playing on the TV, youngest daughter is sprawled out on mum like Al Bundy from “Married with children”, Brooke is watching the TV intently might I add on the verge of tears because she has had to say good night to Iggle piggle and Macka Pakka, Giggle and Hoot flash up on the screen and bang she is happy again, every night is the same, you could set your watch by it. Mum starts to stealthily clean up the toys and try and get some order restored to the toy war zone known as our lounge room.

Giggle and hoot do their thing and the song starts, its the giggle and hoot goodnight song, i have learnt it off by heart and sing it to BB every night. This has now become a must in our house, if dad is not around to sing the song trained hostage negotiators could not talk BB down and stop her from loosing the plot, and god help if mum wants to sing it instead, its like a little nuclear bomb going off in our lounge room. Our precocious 2 year old is compelled to tell mum to STOP!! Hand signals and all. Does wonders for the self esteem, worse than being shooshed in a cinema.

Child bed

While all this is going on another little war is erupting as mum tries to clean up and take toys off our 9 month old. Talk about temper (she gets that from her mum) I can see the future already and hear the doors being slammed as our 14 and 15 yr olds dont get their way and rant and rave around the house. Jade gives us both the death stare and disgusted grunts as i continue to belt out “what a day its been, what a lovely day” lyrics from the goodnight song much to BB’s delight.

As all this is going on mum has some how found time to get the bath going, BB waves good bye to Hootabelle and we scoop up Jade and head off for a Bath. BB gets ready and climbs in the bath, Jade is placed in the bath and Jo and i are once again ordered to sit sit sit with frantic finger pointing by BB, just like in a restaurant.

Splashing and laughing ensues and more water ends up on the floor than what stays in the bath. Once clean both children are extracted from the bath much to their dislike and Jo and i head to the separate bedrooms to continue with another routine. Lucky i am not easily offended as the next 5 mins are lots of orders flying from said 2 year old, sit sit, hair hair, teeth teeth, door door…….. This all actually means something and doing any of this in the incorrect order is much like the old Atari when you did something the programmers hadn’t thought of… Stop and restart all over again. Even once BB is in bed the kiss, cuddle, high five and pound must be done in the right order, all the while i hear the exact same noises every night coming from Jades room knowing that an exact routine is also being perfectly played in her room as well.

Seriously, Jo and i could be synchronised swimmers as we are in perfect unison every night rolling out the same routine, this is by far the most efficient way to get the kids into bed, we have allowed things to interrupt the process and trust me its not pretty, but I know all other dads out there know exactly what i am talking about…….

and now for my routine…… Tv, a drink and bed

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