Don’t let them fool you Dear Dads…. It is war

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Up until now we have been able to divide and conquer……

I’m not talking global conflict, I’m not talking big business I’m not even talking local council. Nope I am talking my two daughters. The last four years have been interesting to say the least. However the wife and I have have won every battle and every war purely by working together and ensuring we both knew what was going on with each daughter. Sometimes it’ll was just too easy, like when our youngest came out crying saying her sister hit her, instead of asking our eldest “did she hit your sister” we asked her “where did you hit your sister”. Every single time she would show us and we would then ask why. Same went for food, we would give her two choices in food, one that we know she really disliked and one that she mildly tolerated. The mildly tolerated one she would never eat, but gives it a go when faced with a worse option.

Always always always the eldest would pick the second option. Until now….. Now she gets off her chair comes to the pantry and shows us what she wants, if we try and argue or misdirect her she brings us right back to the item that she wants. She also enlists the help of her sister telling her sister what she should ask for. For example, the eldest loves burgers, but she knows if she asks we will usually say no. So what she does is tells her younger sister to ask for chips and nuggets and she asks for burgers because she knows if they both ask she has a better chance of us saying yes. We have even heard her hitting her sister up quietly before they even come running out too us.

The wife and I now have to be on our game as they even wait until we are not together to ask us stuff. Can I now tell you that the eldest is four and the youngest is two and a half. Very cunning. It’s like being in a constant hostage negotiation with a ADD midget. Sorry make that two midgets because as soon as one starts the second jumps on the band wagon and drives it for all its worth. Even to the point of dual tanties in the shopping centre to blackmail us into giving them sweets. It’s war I tell you. So the wife and I converse on everything just so that we don’t contradict each other because the girls will see a chink in our armour and exploit it for all its worth.

Occasionally we give in because it is just easier. Some times we admit defeat and the girls rejoice with victory. What they don’t know is that what ground we have given up was something small we were happy to hand over anyway, but we also like to keep the girls on their toes.

So I am now thinking of a career change into extreme hostage situations.. I figure if I am going to be doing it all day long I might as well get paid for it…

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