I read a few weeks ago that scientists had studied the data and concluded that children ask 437 questions a day. This is total bullshit. Children ask about 10 good questions a day and the rest are one word questions that are driving me over the edge.
While I understand that this seems a little cryptic, you need to understand that I am going bat shit crazy out of my mind coming up with creative reasons why we are doing something. Now I am not doing this for my health, though I have used that as an answer to the question. What’s the question you ask? It’s nothing like hitch hikers guide to the Galaxy or the meaning of life, it’s not even as complicated as “would you like fires with that?”
Give up? It’s why….. Why…
I hate this word.
BB, can you make your bed… Why
BB, get in the car, why?
BB, don’t hit your sister…. Why?
I hate this word, even hate is not a strong enough emotion to describe how I feel when I hear this word. I literally want to explode into a million tiny pieces with rage. I have come up with all kinds of creative answers to try and lesson the impact. Well that was a massive fail because it only made her ask more to get said quirky answers….. Because Martians will come from the sky and poo on you if you don’t, because the floor will open up and eat you if you do, because butterflies will fly out your nose if you don’t stop…. You get the idea. I have even smashed out the standard answers till the cows come home… Because I said so, because it’s your bed time, because she is your sister, because money doesn’t grow on trees….. To even stating the obvious, because the cat doesn’t belong in the toilet, because it’s a house it can’t move, because you are four and are not allowed into nightclubs…..
Honestly I am lucky my house has no brick walls inside it, because if it did I would have died ages ago from literally smashing my head against a brick wall when I hear “why”…. I get that children are sponges and want to learn lots, I understand that they yearn for knowledge. But why do I have to explain war and peace to my 4 and 2.5yr old every single time that I ask them to “get in the car”. It now just feels like it’s a standard response for when ever I ask my four year old to do something. I honestly believe she is not interested in the answer. She just wants me to loose my shit. It’s a plot by all toddlers, to get their parents to flip out completely. They take great satisfaction out of it.
So if you see me walking through the mall with my fingers in my ears singing to my self with a toddler in tow going why why why…. Please, I beg you…… Save me……