Im a parent and I lie……

I lie to my child, I lie to my wife, I lie to my friends…. It’s not that I have a condition or anything, well not a diagnosed one. It’s just that sometimes I can’t be bothered and it’s easier to lie than explain the reality. The best part is I know I am not alone, other parents lie too, those that say they don’t are lying… Oh the irony! The trick is how far can/do you string it? Stuff like Santa and the Easter bunny? That’s a good 10 years you get out of that lie, questions along the lines of “how are you feeling?” Fine.. I’m feeling fine… Well it’s a day to day lie but honestly you can string that one along till the kids move out of home… And then there is the “I’m going to lie cause I don’t want to be a social outcast in my mummies/daddies group” for example “I never smack my children”….. However little Johnny still has your hand print on his ass because 30 mins ago he tried to microwave the cat.

It’s almost socially acceptable, I say almost because most parents know when your lying but won’t say anything. Discussions about how the kids are doing at school where parents say they are happy with their child’s progress but inside they are disappointed as hell because their child doesn’t know the answer to 5 + 5 . Asking a parent “how are you?” Is usually met with “yeah I’m good” or “fine” or maybe some mild discrepancy of “a bit tired but overall pretty good” when in reality they are one toddler tantrum away from leaving the kids on the side of the local highway with a “free to good/any home” sign stapled to their chests.

So why is it we lie? Well it happens for lots and lots of reasons, for me it’s usually because I don’t want people to judge me as a parent or I am that ticked off about something my child did and I just don’t want to have to relive it by explaining it all over again. Parent shaming is alive and well in the 21st century, and because of this many parents lie. Child won’t eat? Society will think I’m a bad parent, child back chats? Society must think I’m a bad parent, child loses its shit completely because pepper pig just ended…. Society must think I’m a bad Parent. So, to make it easier and maybe because we just want to believe it ourselves, we lie. My child sleeps through the night, our kids are always well behaved, I never smack my children, I never want to walk out of the house with a small packed bag and go on holidays with out the kids. Lie lie lie. Best part is when you get into a larger group of parents and someone says something and everyone agrees….. Group lying….. We never feed our children sugar… We never put the TV on to get 5 mins peace…. Standing back and looking at it is almost comical but I’d be lying if i didn’t say I’d done it myself.

Parenting is a tough gig, no manual, shit hours, no pay, unruly customers and the constant wondering if your child is going to grow up semi normal. I know that some days I’ll lie even when I know who I’m talking to knows the true story. It’s just easier. So if your ever talking to me about parenting and I give you a bullshit answer, don’t judge….. Just know that what I’m telling you is a whole lot easier than trawling through the truth.


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