Recently work has been tough. It’s not the end of the world, these things happen, take the good with the bad, you win some you lose some, I literally could go on with cliche’s all night long but you get the drift. I have second guessed myself a few times in the last week wondering if it’s all worth it. Today I was having one of my what if moments and I caught myself looking at my youngest miss 3. She was standing leaning back against the trampoline staring off into the slowly setting sun. I watched her for a good 5 mins. Her eyes searching the sky, looking over the fence at the horizon slowly turning orange from the spectacular sunset that was playing out before us both. The innocence on her face was mesmerising. For what could very well have been eternity I was lost in her gaze, the facial expression of a human being who has yet to truly understand what pressure was, what a deadline was, what a no win situation meant.
As I watched her I tried to think what could possibly be running through her mind. Our daughter is driven and will not spend more than a few minutes doing something if it does not interest her. What was it in this sunset that had captivated her attention? Was it the colours? Was it the light falling like a orange/pink blanket across the sky? Was it the sounds of the birds enjoying the last light of another day? What held her there, captivated? Was was her mind not burdened by the pressures of life thinking about? Somewhere before the darkness of the evening enveloped us both it came to me like being hit by a bolt of lightening…… It didn’t matter what she was thinking, it was inconsequential what was going through her mind, it was irrelevant what had captivated her attention.
Why? Because for 5 mins my wild eyed daughter had found something that calmed her little emotion filled mind. She had found a place that smoothed her storming oceans, she had discovered something that captivated and soothed her all in an instant. Her world for 5 mins was tranquil and peaceful. The true beauty of childhood was shining through, the innocence of life discovering life was playing out before my very eyes, and just like that my 3 weeks of stress, anxieties and tension was gone in an instant. I was watching my daughter truly experience her first sunset. I was watching her innocence shine through but her adulthood come one step closer at the same time. My mind for the first time in 3 weeks was calm, my storming ocean soothed, my train of thought completely and utterly derailed all through the power of a 3yr old.
In an instant it showed me that none of it matters yet all of it does. Without it we would not be here to enjoy this moment but with all the burdens of parenthood it gave me the perspective to truly enjoy and appreciate this moment. As the sun slowly disappeared for the day and the light around us continued its cosmic display my daughter travelled back from where ever she had gone. She slowly looked around seeing me for the first time since I came outside and ran over to me giving me a big hug. I held on to her for a minute and she squeezed me tight, as if she knew we had just shared something special that no money in the world could buy. I let her go and she ran inside to play with her sister. I looked out over the horizon one last time as the light started to slip away, thanking the cosmic gods for giving me this moment now etched in time and my mind, never to be forgotten.
Giving me some perspective on current events in my life and helping me realise that sometimes you just need to watch your daughter watch the sun go down.