This week my two girls got a cold/flu thing. Miss 4 and miss 2.5 did the usual and found the flem infested kid at the play ground and hung off him like a cheap costume jewellery necklace. However it wasn’t until about 24hrs later that the symptoms showed up and the wife and I did the whole back track and a few curse words when we settled on the culprit. I’m all for kids catching colds, helps build their immunity systems up (to a point) but Jesus Christ I want to gouge my eye balls out right now.
You see kids can’t just get sick and be happy with it. When a child gets a cold/flu it’s the end of the world, much like manflu. Children also have to touch every single bloody thing in the house so that unless you plan on a) leaving the country b) putting them in a vacuum lock bag c) following them around constantly spraying them with glen 20 your going to get a cold/flu/gastro insert disgusting flemy disease here. It’s inevitable. Especially if your darling children like to bury themselves in the back yard or chase the sick kid around the play ground….. Why do they do this???
So this week has been a joyous week of tissues, hot showers, constant cleaning and using glen 20 by the truck load. Our house smells like a hospital and I feel like I have been hit by a truck. My wife has not faired much better and we have discussed at length just how hard it would be cut the house in 2 and effectively seal the girls off from the world till they are 21. The hardest part is having to deal with the vial snot infested kids when you are feeling on deaths door yourself. I envy my single friends that have a sickie day and hide under the doona, drinking soup and watching dodgy mid day tv. While they may feel like they are dying they actually have no idea.
Add two sick kids to the scene and there is no doona time, there is no nice and quite, there is no sleep till you feel better…… It’s all about keeping them as quiet and comfortable as possible to stop yourself from loosing your shit completely, screaming “fuck it I’m out” and heading out the front door with two suitcases under your arms telling your husband you will be back “sometime next June”. There is lots of washing and constant nose blowing and random tantrums for no reason….. Honestly, just them being quiet is far better than any sleep I remember when I was sick before kids. I am amazed at how far physically and mentally my wife and I have pushed our selves this week. I got up this morning and came to work, I mean I could have high fived the grim reaper on the way out the door because I was in a fit state to crawl into a coffin, but it was still a better alternative to dealing with snotty noses and vomiting kids.
So if my girls are hanging out with your kids and your child is sick, don’t be offended if I douse them in Glen 20 for like 25 mins…. It’s more of a protection instinct for myself than anything else!!