When did being a dad who disciplines his children become bad? Why am I made to feel like I am too harsh just because I set strong values for my girls????
I was told by a friend recently that I should let my youngest express her self even when she is angry. It’s not cool to chastise her in public…..
I had to stop him. I asked him why was it more important to look cool than to teach my youngest values about socially acceptable behaviour? He said letting kids express themselves was the latest thing even if they lash out. Helps build their creative minds and self development. This can’t be right. When did it become ok to give in to a screaming toddler? When did it become socially and morally wrong to chastise children in public if they were acting up? All I can say is Juvi must be full of very creative kids who are just misunderstood……..
A few weeks ago when out camping a small group of young adolescents were messing around in the caravan park toilets, they were throwing bars of soap at each other and nearly hit a few older patrons. I asked them to stop and they ignored me, I then yelled at them and they told me to “piss off”! I grabbed my rolled up towel and made a bee line for them, they scampered…. Why did it have to end in a threat of violence for them to stop? I’ll tell you why…
Because my mates progressive parenting isn’t working. Kids that get ignored or not corrected all through life and never told off for acting out are growing up not knowing that life has consequences. Little Johny robbed an old man and put him in hospital? People ask how does it get to that?? Easy, the first time he acted out at home no one stopped him, no one made him stop for a second and think about the consequences of his actions, parents are more interested in how Johny is feeling. Confused…. Johny is feeling confused… I’m not saying beat the living crap out of little Johny, violence is not the answer.
However the people in his life who should be guiding his behaviour aren’t. They are leaving it up to schools and the police… And pardon my French but this is just bullshit. It’s is not the cops job to chase your kids around at night and bring them home. It’s yours. There are 3 teenagers that live nearby, I can see that they are raised in a house where you’re held accountable for your actions good and bad. They are well adjusted, socially functioning teenagers. They understand what is socially acceptable and what isn’t. Do they get in trouble? Yes of course, but it’s for small things like not taking out the trash and staying up too late. They also get rewarded for putting in an effort, not just participation awards… Jesus, and again, when did that become a thing??????
Now I can already hear the progressive parenting types saying “getting in trouble for not taking out the trash?” That’s crazy! Don’t be so harsh it’s only the trash….
NO!!! No it isn’t. It’s called boundaries. How long do you think they will stay employed if they don’t follow basic direction? Come and go as they please? About 5 mins….. As an employer I see it a lot these days. Everyone parents differently, nothing wrong with that, but cops/teachers/bosses are not responsible for your child’s behaviour in public. You are. Should you cuddle your children? Yes absolutely! As much as possible but when our two act up they are disciplined, no question. However, 5 mins later we give them a hug and explain what they did wrong so they know next time it’s wrong. Will they do it again? Of course!! Our two have both gone to their room twice this week for hitting each other. But afterwards we explain what they did wrong. They still do it but are slowly getting better.
This post is not to tell you how to raise your children. No one can do that. They are your child and you have the joy of showing them their way in the world. If you put the effort in their lives will be better for it. But remember they are your responsibility, not societies. If they fall pick them up, if they act out, push them back in line, if they do well praise them till the cows come home.
You won’t get it right 100% of the time, but you will get it wrong 100% of the time if you do nothing.